Alexandra, The Dorky Writer - Chapter 5 ~ The Dorky Writer

The Dorky Writer already knew which path to choose, but the old fairies in the woods advised her to take the left side of the fork instead. Both of the paths looked different of course. One of them was full of fruity trees that whispered soft words to her, telling her that the answer could be there, while the other didn't look terrifying but had just some scattered and sad bushes waiting for some attention. That's where the fairies told her to go, but why? She wouldn't have enough food or water to survive.

"There will be hard moments for you, but the further you travel, the easier will be for others to follow. Keep going further, and then more dorky writers like you can pass through both paths with no problem later."

"That sounds wonderful and everything, but that would let me weak for the moment I face The Mighty Thesis," The Dorky Writer said after she put her notes, some ink and quills in her bag.

"And that's where you'll know if you're worthy to win or not."

I was very afraid to tell a teacher about the idea I had for the thesis, because saying something about it would make it more real. The thing is that way before we discussed about it, another idea came up, an idea I also liked and that I hadn't considered it. So when the real moment to discuss the subject of investigation arrived, I had two ideas instead of one but with no problem to start.

Every thesis is born because of the need to know something or to answer a question related to the subject of investigation, and this need is called a problem. My problem was that that problem wasn't actually clear, of course. I doubt it, but if you read the first chapters of this insanity, I was kinda sure to talk about women's memoirs and how different they are from one to another. Hell, I already had an idea of what to read but I stopped because of my lack of money to get the books (a downfall of not having good libraries here). The thing is that in another class, before taking the first Thesis Seminar, I mentioned something related to fan fiction. I don't really remember how and why I mentioned it, but my teacher said that investigating about that would be very awesome and different because it was related to my specialization, which is Creative Culture. I have to remind you that this teacher, who is the principal of the school too by the way, didn't know about the idea I already had in mind.

So, the weeks went by, I couldn't write a thing in here again but book reviews, another kind of writer's block I suppose, and then the first Seminar arrived. I mentioned that I had two ideas and between the teacher-principal, who was acting as a substitute for that session, and my classmates, advised me to take the fan fiction subject and find a problem, find a reason why I should defend it, because there are a lot of similar works related to comparative texts (women's memoirs in my case) as written final works.

After that session, ~~ok, why, oh God, why do we have to share these thoughts out loud? My anxiety kicked me out right on my head!~~ my mind was so crowded I had to hide my school notebooks and books under the bed and I better started to clean so I could keep my mind focused on something else. I couldn't even tell my boyfriend or my mom about it, no matter how much I needed to talk about it with anyone because I wasn't really sure what was going on. Had I really chosen an unexplored and almost empty path? I know it's not completely empty, I mean, there are a lot of trails inside that are full of wonderful written fics but I'm going to go beyond that. And I'm more than scared.

This work has changed and it has changed completely... and I haven't actually really started! I think I have a tiny question that demands to be answered, but it won't become real until I talk with the actual teacher of the Seminar. Until then...

End of Chapter 5.